Week 9 Update

So here's the scoop on the weigh in. I got to the Dr office and the nurse told me I had to many clothes on before I even got on the scales. So I weighed and lost 2 lbs. She told me to go home and weigh on my scales with clothes on to see how accurate they were and then to put my shorts on (what I usually weigh in) and weigh. So I did and I had lost 4.5 lbs total from last week. She told me to make sure I wear shorts next week :). So I am pleased with 4.5 lbs considering I have not stepped foot in the gym this week. AND I only have 11.5 more pounds to my end of the year goal!!!!
On another not so happy note, please pray for me this week. I am still struggling really bad with sadness and weepiness. Yes I guess I should say depression but that is such a hard pill to swallow for me. I feel like the word depression defines me while sadness and weepiness just describes me at the moment. Silly I know but it is how I feel. Anyway, I am still having a hard time. I told John tonight that I am ready to talk about medication. It is just hard to know with all these thyroid issues. So could you just pray that God would give us wisdom in what to do and that He would heal me. I really want to enjoy my family this holiday season and right now I really just want to curl up in the bed and cry - and I have lost 39lbs in 9 weeks. I should not feel this way!!! UGHHHH!!

Week 8 Update

I lost 2 more pounds this week making my total 35lbs in 8 weeks!!! I am really pleased. I have had a really hard last month and still having troubling getting my nose to the grind again. So I am pleased with 2lbs all things considered.
FYI to challenge you on the upcoming holiday season. My nurse told me this week that Americans gain an AVERAGE of 8-10lbs from Thanksgiving to the New Year. WOW!!!!
So in lieu of this fact I have decided to set a goal for the remaining 7 weeks of this year. I am going to shoot to loose 15 more pounds by Dec. 31st. That will put me at 50lbs weight loss - half my goal. It is about 2lbs/week average loss. I think this is a pretty reasonable goal considering most other Americans are gaining almost half that much :)
Also, thanks to a good friend who has also done this diet I now have a handful of skinnier clothes in my closet as my new motivators.

Can I Just Say....

In the last week I have been able to go in my closet and wear WHATEVER I put on!!! I am no longer an owner of my "smaller size" clothes. Nope the few that I have kept over the years I am now wearing!!!! So much farther to go but this is a great milestone for me and I am enjoying it!!!

Week 7 Update

I Lost 3lbs this week which is GREAT considering I haven't been to the gym this week. Every 6 weeks I have to do blood and I got those results back this week. I am happy to report that my overall Cholesterol is down to 192 which is in normal range now. My TSH (thyroid hormone) is down from 9.56 to 6.5. This probably doesn't mean much to most of you - unless you have thyroid issues. The normal range is .45-4.5. As you can see I was way high and though I haven't returned to normal range we are creeping along. I have had a VERY hard 2 weeks with my thyroid issues. It makes me very sad - emotional all around and extremely tired. So the doc said about 2 weeks and I should be feeling better - made it through week 1. So considering all this chaos I am very pleased with 3lbs!!!!

The Climb

Tuesday, on the Biggest Loser I hear Miley Cyrus's The Climb for the first time and man it resonated deep within me. 55 days ago I took a major step forward in my commitment to health in all areas of my life. That night I told John that I was so afraid. Never in my life have I wanted something so bad - to be healthy physically, emotionally and spiritually. All three areas have taken drastic hits in the last few years. But I know that this was God's doing. He is in pursuit of my heart - all of it.
I don't have to be skinny for that to happen nor do I have to be a spiritual "giant" for that to happen. But I have dug for myself broken cistern's that do not hold water and no matter how much I keep pouring in they NEVER get full. And as a result of my trying my heart, my mind and my body are a wreck!!!!
My fear 55 days ago was that it would not happen. That I couldn't do any of it. I couldn't lose my weight, I couldn't deal with the idols of my heart, that I couldn't be happy. And yes I know that I don't have to do it on my own - this was part of my great epiphany this summer. But commitment and discipline and effort were necessary on my part and I was afraid that I could not do it. DEATHLY AFRAID!!!
There is that voice in my head that she talks about in her song. And the last 2 weeks I have hit a really hard "mountain." And in my frustration I told John that just as I got going here I am faced with another setback. But when I heard her song I realized that this will be a life long journey for me. The last 2 weeks have been really hard for me (thyroid issues again) and I have struggled but the "click" in my head has happened. I am moving forward very slowly but I am moving!!! In 55 days I have lost 30 some odd pounds and I am facing the issues of my heart head on. Last night after hearing this song I settled into the fact that it won't be over in a year - not even close. But I am here and I am in it for life.

Week 6 Update

Lost 4lbs - I did not go to the dr until today. We had people in our house for a week straight and while I feel like I made decent choices when I ate real food - I still ate alot of real food. I wanted to give myself a few days before I weighed in. So I am happy with 4lbs.
I went to get dressed yesterday and I cleaned out literally 2/3 of my closet before I found something that wasn't huge on me. It was a GREAT feeling. The red sweater in this picture that I wore 3 weeks ago swallows me whole now. I look like I had wings when I put it on.
Ever since my "kick butt" exercise week that put me on the couch for a few days - I have not been feeling well at all. I have had zero energy and I feel like I could sleep at any point of the day. I have spent lots of afternoons on the couch which is very unlike me. Well this week my bloodwork showed that my thyroid levels are way off again. My doctor told me that it was like my body was running on a half charged battery. This made me feel tons better. So it will take about 2 weeks to see if the new meds will work. Please pray that it will.
I wish you could know how much your encouragement has meant to me through this journey. I am so thankful for all of you!!!

Moss Preserve Hike

A few weeks ago we went for a hike at Moss Preserve in Hoover. It is a wonderful place right smack in the city of Hoover. There are several trails out here and a rock climbing area. We had a blast!!! More and more I am enjoying being more active with my boys.

I love this picture of Jake - he did not know we were watching him. He is a very loud and rambunctious boys when paired with his brother but this very much captures another side of Jake - very contemplative. I love it!!!

They were learning how to balance and walk by themselves across the log. It was a huge feet for him to do it by himself. Of course we picked a log with no water underneath for practice. :)

This place is beautiful. John had cell phone coverage here which kinda made me happy because I might come up missing one day and venture out here all by myself to enjoy the waterfalls. A cell phone will be nice just in case you know :):) how spoiled we are!!!

Week 5 Update

Lost 1.2lbs this week. I am proud I did not gain. It has been a challenging week - mainly just life. I was out of town for a few days - no gym and some eating out. Then we had family in town with some eating out. But I knew going to weigh in that it would be a slow week. I have to say that my lesson this week is that sometimes life doesn't go as planned and I can do one of 2 things:
1. Improvise when possible - like go for a walk where I am, make best possible choice of food if I am eating out, etc.,
2. If I make mistakes see the next meal or opportunity to exercise as a new day or a new choice. I don't need to wait until tomorrow to start fresh. and if I do I just need to make sure that I keep going.

The desire for me is a lifestyle change. So some weeks will be worse than others but I don't in anyway see last week as bad. I ate out almost everyday last week, went to the gym only 2 days and still lost a pound!!! GOOD FOR ME!! :)
Oh and I forgot to mention that a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts resided in my house this weekend and I did not even take a single nibble!!!

Week 4 Update

Lost 6 lbs this week!!!! This was week 4 so in 33 days I have lost 24lbs!!! I am very pleased with my progress. Last week was physically hard for a few reasons. The 2 days of 5 minute running (did my 20 min intervals also) KICKED my butt!!!! I was not in pain or sore but I physically felt completely exhausted. By Thursday, i could not function so I spent the afternoon on the couch and took off Friday. It made such a difference. My body just needed a break. I couldn't believe that 5 minutes could do that to me but I still have so much weight to loose and I just pushed a little too much. So for now I am gonna just stick with the interval training for a few more weeks and work up gradual. It also made me really hungry. But the weekend was a good recovery and we are back in groove.
I am completely finished unpacking. There are many things I want to do to the house but no more boxes out. The decorating will be my therapy for some time ahead. I absolutely love love love this house. I sit in this living room almost every day and ask God to let this place be a haven for our family - one that fosters healing and restoration for my (our) very weary souls. I would love for you to come see it and sit on my couch and enjoy the view with me - it really is a beautiful place!!!!
Thank you all for being so encouraging through this journey!!! Now that my house is unpacked I am going to try and tackle some Holiday traditions I have brewing in my head - so get ready for more than just my weight lost updates. However, it won't be this week!!! My sweet sweet mother in law is coming to enjoying the view with me for a few days, go to the Alabama Homecoming Parade with us and the boys (one of our yearly traditions) and as of today going with John to take the boys the the actual game. We could only get 4 tickets so I will be sitting this one out at Barnes and Noble enjoying some peace and quiet and a good book. Hope you guys have a great week!!!

Week 3 update

I weighed in today and I lost 8.8lbs!!!!
I am so excited but i must confess something else happened this morning that rivals the excitement of the pounds I loss!!!
I told you I was starting to train for the 5K in February. I am doing the Couch to 5K training. This is start of week 2 for me. Yesterday, John wanted to go to the gym and so I went with him. Normally I want go on Sundays but I just went with him. He was running beside me and after I walked my 5 min warm up I started my intervals. I was suppose to run 90 seconds and walk 60 but I just heard him running beside me and I got set in a rhythm and before I knew it I had run 5 minutes!!!! I was so excited and proud of myself. Remember I am trying to loose like 100lbs and I just ran 5 min. I stopped at 5 min because I couldn't get control of my breathing. Then I went ahead and did the rest of my intervals. BUT this morning, I was so motivated!!! So I walked my 5 min warm up and then did 15 of my 20 min intervals. When I hit minute 20 I put on what has become a theme song in my life right now (Free by Ginny Owens) and I decided to push myself and see if I could run the last 5 minutes of my intervals. I DID IT!!!!! I had run 15 minutes of intervals and THEN I ran for 5 minutes straight!!!! And surprisingly I was still breathing fairly well!!! I stopped because I wanted to enjoy the moment!!!
So yes, I am excited about the weight loss but I am just as excited about the fact that I am pushing myself to become who I know I want to be and learning that I can do it!!!

Ain't Nothing Gonna Break My Stride (Week 2 Update)

I have been really busy this week and haven't had time to post. I did not loose any weight this week - everyone says week 2 that is to be expected. I think it was a combo of it being week 2 and the 2 rounds of Japanese food I had over the weekend. I learned/am learning alot last week about emotional hunger. I wasn't physically hungry but with John being here I felt like come meal time I needed to eat. I am not blaming John (although he says I am :)) but I am just saying - it was harder with him here. So for once I was glad to see him off for a week so I could get a better handle on my eating.
I decided that we have to find things to do as a family that don't center around food. So Saturday morning we are going for a short hike and I am excited. I found a website with a few places close by but haven't settled on any some suggestions would be great (ie - jess).
Also my friend Shannon has said she will do the Mercedees 5K with me which I am really excited about. It is not until Feb which gives me time to build up. I plan on signing up as a runner but not sure I will be able to run the whole thing. Running is very much something I look forward to after loosing my weight. John loves to run and I can't wait to do it as a family - sometimes.
I am not disappointed about not loosing any weight. I am learning so much through this. I think that having my food options so easily accessible - I just go to the cabinet and pick from the already prepackaged meals (that are surprisingly good) and make it - has taken my mind off thinking about food. I don't have to think about what I have had today and what I can have and so on. I will eventually need to do that but for now I can really think about when and why I eat. It is forcing me to concentrate more on this whole emotional eating. I want terribly for this to be a lifestyle change and with that comes evaluation and retraining and sacrifice. I am there - I am ready but it is not easy!!!
I am starting to have more energy which is great as well. So all in all I am on the right track. I have found a plan that is working for me and I am really excited about it.
There are so many other things I want to write about but right now I can't focus on that. In a few weeks I will be back. Thanks for sticking it out with me friends!!!

Weight Loss Update

Hear me squealing as I tell you I lost 10.4 lbs this week. I was very pleased. I have been surprised how easy this week has been. I really never feel physically hungry and I am fighting to deal with my emotional hunger. It has been a successful week. I have a dear friend meeting me at the gym every morning. She walks 30 min with me (which is all I can do right now per docs orders) and then she goes and actually sweats for her workout. The time has passed so quickly every day. It is fun for me to start finding new ways to hang out - rather than grabbing lunch or such we walk for 30 very fast minutes.
The nurse told me at my weigh in today to not expect a lot of weight loss the second week. She said your body kinda realizes week 2 that something is going on and tends to hold on to its stored fat. I wanted to get onto a Monday weigh in day anyway because that will motivate me to do well over the weekends when John is home. So I am going to just go for 11 days and then weigh in the that next Monday. So this will give me a longer stint to loose a little more weight.
Already I feel more energetic. I am super encouraged. Thanks for all the encouraging emails and comments I have gotten from you all.

Update

Day 1 and Day 2 have been great!!! No hunger, no headaches. We had to explain to my little garbage disposals that they can't eat mommies food. John told them it was special food for me and that I didn't get to eat much of it and they didn't need to ask for any. He told them it was like medicine for me. So John just sent me a text and said "me and the boys are at full moon eating and Jake just said that mommy couldn't come here to eat with us because they don't have medicine food." yes son you are correct - no medicine food will be found at the BBQ place!!!!

A new journey

So today starts a new adventure for me and I wanted to let you in on it. I have thought long and hard about sharing this with you because it evokes a level of accountability that I didn't know if I wanted. But this upcoming year is about change for me in so many ways on so many levels. So here it goes:
I am starting a drastic weight loss diet today. My whole life I have struggled with weight. Yesterday when I did my physical for the diet and they took history - in your immediate family do you have any of the following - heart disease (yes), diabetes (yes), cancer (yes), thyroid problems (yes), and most of all the others (yes). You get the picture. I have tried to loose weight my whole life and for various reasons it has not been my priority. That time has come to an end. John and I have decided that for our entire family my health is our top priority this year. So that means that our days will be scheduled around me going to the gym 5 days a week, going to weigh in, eating out as a family at places I can eat. I am doing the Bariatric Diet which during the first phase I eat their foods. I started today because the friends that have done it all say the first 3 days are hell and then it gets easier. I wanted to do those first 3 days while John is home and can support me and help take care of the kids. That is why I started today.
So I want to loose 110 pounds. It is alot and it will be a long road but it HAS to happen. And I decided that sharing this with you is hard but is just means if I succeed I do it publicly and if I fail I do it publicly as well. I want my life to change. Sometimes I feel like there is this whole other person inside me waiting to get out. I tell John sometimes that I think if I were skinny I might dress like a hippy :) who knows I guess we will see. So when you see me please please please ask me how I am doing. Don't be afraid - I need it. Thanks for joining this journey with me. I will post at least weekly when I weigh in. (I plan on starting to post more anyway now that we are settling)