This Proud and Sad Momma...

Jake has taken up running with John.  Currently they are running about 1/2 mile 3-4 days a week.  He ran his first race last weekend - we were so proud of him.

Over the last few months, Jake has been complaining of his neck hurting.  It has gotten worse so last Thursday we let B's ortho doctor check him out.  After exam and xrays and a little education on his occular albinism and nystagmus he recommended PT to see if we could help his muscles.

Today we had our first visist.  The PT ask Jake lots of questions and one was how often it hurt him during the day.  His answer was it hurts mostly all the time except when I am lying down.  :(
Then as we talked with the PT, I was answering questions and Jake overheard me tell the PT that his vision was 20/200 and that he was basically legally blind (we were talking in regards to distance from TV & Computer screen).  After we left Jake said momma I heard you tell that man I am legally blind.  So John explained what that means.  Momma had to excuse herself and shed a few tears.  Now that Jake is going strong in school we are seeing more difficulties regarding his vision.  The PT said we would work on this but that he didn't know how much it would help because we are working against an underlying condition. 

It just makes me sad today - that I watch my little one struggle and hurt.  Please pray with us that the PT helps - from research it seems that this could be life long for him. 

Doing Well

I really do want to pick this back up.  It will happen soon I hope.  But for now I am learning how to get my big rocks in daily.  This is a big priority for me and John this year.  So while I love this blog it is not a big rock in my life and so I haven't made it fit regularly.  Right now we are working on the following:
1. Daily Time in the Word
2. Daily Exercise - doing well with the weekdays - not so much weekends yet because we don't do schedules on the weekend.  But I am pleased with how it is coming.
3. Consistent school - I am LOVE LOVE LOVING school with my boys.  It is amazing to me how they are such sponges.  And Jake is to the age where we really have conversations during the day and I watch him grasping truths and making them his own.  It delights my heart so much.
4. Consistent home routine - this is not rigid but we are working to be diligent to do the work needed for the day so that we don't fall behind and struggle in other areas.  I am learning that all but 1 of our family members really needs peace and order to our home - and to have peace and order and little chaos requires daily work.
5. Healthy eating.  My understanding of the foods we eat has grown a lot in the past year.  We are slowly eliminating processed foods from our life and replacing them with whole, clean foods in their original form.  This makes for a bit more work in the kitchen but it is becoming a hobby (which John says I need) and I am enjoying learning and trying new things.  I find great delight in providing healthy meals and snacks for my family. 
6. Quality time as a family - this is the one we are trying to still work out the kinks with.  John going back to work out of the home is hard for us.  So we are working hard to figure out the best ways for all of us to fill our tanks with each other.  We are hoping that date nights will happen soon as well. 

So these things are filling my day.  We spend lots of time at home which my boys love.  I have seen their imaginations soar greatly over the last couple months.  Their friendships are strengthing and my understanding of what each of them needs from us is becoming more clearer - which helps us parent a little better.  Our family is in a good place right now.  Better than I think we have been in YEARS.  We are still looking for community but the four walls of our home are such a delight to me these days.  For that I am grateful.

7 year old Insight

 Jake is such a cool and unique kid.  I love the way his mind works.  He puts an amazing amount of thought into things.  John and I can say something to him and a day or so later he will come back with some thoughts or comments....he has been thinking. 
Last night at dinner we were talking about how fast his fingernails grow.  Way faster than Brady's.  So we passively talked about this for a minute and on to the next topic.  About 10 min later he said "Daddy don't laugh at what I am about to say: but I think my fingernails grow so fast because I pick my nose." 

Well I will admit John and I busted out laughing - it just took us so off guard.  I could not stop laughing.  Jake got really sad for a minute until we explained that we weren't laughing AT him but that what he said was just - well funny.  

This and That

Right now I have been exiled to my room while the boys and Nana prepare for my birthday in the morning.  I love that our kids love and expect our traditions.  It is neat that it has become a part of who we are as the Cook family. 

We are really getting into a good rhythm with homeschool the last 2 weeks.  Honestly, it has been on and off a lot this year.  Last fall had lots of travel and the packing of the house and holidays here and there and then the move.  Jake is really gaining ground on his reading but we are starting to hit some bumps in the road.  This week I have really struggled with the reality of Jake having ocular albinism/nystagmus.  Up until now these have not affected our daily life.   It is very hard for me to know how much to push him.  I have shed a few tears this week.  On one hand, I know that he struggles and we need to help him the best we can but on the other hand I do not want to disable him unnecessarily.  If you think of us will you please pray for God to give me and John wisdom and insight in to how to best help Jake deal with this disability.  He does not really know he has a disability and John thinks it is time for us to talk with him so that he can help us to know how to help him.  It makes me a little sad to have that conversation because I feel like it will take away a little of his innocence about life.  But only he can tell us what and how well he sees, when his eyes feel tired and such.  We think that if we give him words and understanding to some of his frustrations it might help us all. 

I am doing well - other than lifting I feel normal.  B has not slowed down a bit.  Rather than running full force he has mastered the art of scooting.  The itching has started :(.  Nana leaves tomorrow and we are very sad.  Hopefully we will survive the next few weeks.  We shall see :)

Life as We Know It...

Life for us slowly returning to normal minus the addition of the GREEN MONSTER.  That would be B's cast.  But let me tell you that thing has not slowed him down a bit.  He can scoot with the best of them.  John's mom is here for which I am so thankful.  She has been a huge help.  I feel back to normal.  We have gotten a good morning rhythm down that I am enjoying complete with homeschooling and some snuggling on the couch reading My Father's Dragon series which I HIGHLY recommend.  It is quite delightful.  Not a day passes that they don't ask for one more chapter.  

A friend of friends who lives across the water in Seattle loaned us her jogging stroller.  This weekend we had wonderful rain free weather and so we explored our little city of Kirkland.  It has a quaint little downtown area with all kinds of fun stores and a nice coffee shop.  This was refreshing for me.  Mainly because since my surgery and B's broken leg I haven't been liking being here.  It really had nothing to do with here just the fact of being without people - community.  And Saturday reminded me that I do enjoy this city and being here - I just need the people to come.  Soon I pray. 

I am a bit nervous about Nana leaving this weekend.  I feel more confident now that I can handle B after she leaves (at least in the house).  But I just know that we will spend our days in the house because I can't carry him up the flight of stairs required for us to leave said house.  I am a homebody but I like it to be by choice.  And honestly I have just felt overwhelmingly lonely at times the last few weeks.  With my mom and Nana here I have people. 

But this too will pass.  With every day we are re-gaining our footing both physically and emotionally.  I believe God when He promised to never leave me so I am choosing . fighting to trust that He will meet my needs. 

Quick Update

Today both me and B had follow up visits.  Mine went great.  Healing well and moving forward.  B's not so much.  The bones were 16 degrees off what they should be - the set in the ER was not enough.  So they recast him (bright green) and cut a slit in the cast and put a wedge in it.  They told us it would be very painful and well it was.  B has a super high pain tolerance and that baby wailed.  Momma is still distressed over watching him.  They told us if the wedge didn't close the gap to under 6 degrees we would have to do surgery.  It worked!!! - 1 degree off now!!!  Now with the wedge there is a danger for abscess on the skin because the cast is not pushing on his leg.  So pray with us this does not happen. 

My mom is leaving in the morning and John's mom will be joining us late Thurs night.  So John is working from home the next few days. 

Update on Brady

If you have facebook you know that yesterday was Jake's 7th Birthday.  We took the boys to Red Robin and this place .  It looked awesome and we knew the boys would love it.  Less than 30 seconds on the trampoline and Brady broke his tibula and fibula.  It was a freak thing and it sent us back the the ER we visited last week for me.  Same ER room to be exact.  The on-call ortho said he would have to have surgery to have it set and so they transported us via ambulance to Children's.  After 12 hours in ER he ended up only needed sedation to have it set rather than surgery for which we are thankful.   As you can see he is in a thigh high cast and can not bear weight for 3 weeks.
Problem is that I can lift weight for 5 more weeks and John works away from home right now and my mom is leaving this week.  We are hoping Nana will come back out here and help for a while.  Not sure how we are going to survive with 1. Brady having to be still and 2. Me not being able to lift him during the days.
So please pray for our family.  I had a very sad afternoon.  Just feeling isolated and did a lot of asking God what He was doing and why this was necessary.  John is REALLY tired from the last week and while he serves us without complaining I can see it - he is running on E.
Will update more soon
Thanks friends.