My Embarrassing Moment

OK so how long has it been since my daddy has seen me in my underwear???? Um you would think the answer would be since I was a little girl but no it was today. We started working in the yard at the house and it hasn't been touched in about 5-6 years so you can imagine the mess it is in. Dad and John were cutting tree limbs down and we were carrying them off. Jake worked his tail off today by the way. There was an old bucket that I picked up to put in the trash pile and it was heavy so I had to carry it up against me. Well apparently some fire ants had made there bed in this bucket and I made them angry and well within about 30 seconds I started feeling some stings and I looked down and my clothes were COVERED in fire ants. I panicked in a way that I haven't in a very long time. Mom was standing beside me and I just stripped down to my underwear right there and handed her my clothes. I was standing in the front yard and my dad, John,mom and the boys were all watching (quite amused I might add). It was quite embarrassing but I am so glad that my neighbors down the street had just drove by less than 2 minutes before this happened and not during the process. I would have come home with a BANG had that happened. I got a few bites on my stomach but my quick thinking (really just paniking) saved me from a ton of bites. Never thought I would find myself standing in my underwear between my daddy and my husband. I really can't believe that I am posting this but I couldn't let you all miss out on the humor!!!

Encouragement for today

"If we are to change we must be regularly preaching the gospel to ourselves and believing it.  We must be continually showing ourselves, and those we counsel, the depths and greatness of God's love for them.  We must stop wasting our time trying to convince ourselves that we are lovable, and instead rest in the glorious fact that we are loved.  It is this message which God uses to change us at the motivational level."

-Redeemer Presbyterian Church, Fellowship Group Handbook, 9

Ideas Please

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trust in you."  Is 26:3

About 1:15 this morning God spoke these words to me.  I had one of my very common sleepless nights (literally) last night and as I lie in bed and thought about the events of the day - my frustrations with the boys - this was what God said to me.  It was soothing but challenging all at the same time.  Perfect peace won't come when life is settled again and all is well in our house, it won't come when our debts are paid in full and we don't carry that burden anymore, it won't come when my list of things I want to see happen in my life are complete, or even close.  Today is the day that i can have perfect peace.  It will only come and stay (hence the word keep) if my mind is steadfast on Him.  And this won't happen unless I am choosing minute by minute to trust him.  So in the business of my life and knowing my struggles and bents my  question for the rest of my sleepless night was how can I practically make this true for me in the business of the next few weeks.  It is so hard for me, realistically, in these times to sit and have focused time with the Lord.  One of the things that came to my mind was to really spend some time in the morning listening to praise music and really just picking one song or hymn and think on it throughout the day.  Music is very calming to my soul and it settles my rushed spirit like very few things.  I often fail to take advantage of this but really want to use my morning walks not as a time to think about my to do list but to visit with my Father.  I don't think to stop and turn music on during the day as I go about my day so I don't get to listen to it much.  I have a few favorite worship songs that I stick to and don't venture from so I would love some suggestions. I just want some depth to the words that makes me have to stop and think- that distracts my mind.  I am weird I know but I would love ideas if you have some favorites.

Please Please Pray!!!

Most of you reading this love me and my family and for that I am so grateful and it gives me more freedom to just be real with you right now.  I really need your prayers especially through the next month.  As you have read countless times on this blog I am a task person.  I have to fight hard to choose to love my family over completing a task that needs to be done.  It is a thorn in my flesh and when life is quite it is not so hard but now this desire is raging within me.  There is a lot to be done to get my grandmothers house ready and I will be the one doing a lot of the painting and such because John has to work.  I have to really choose to stay in there with the kids when I am gonna want to be getting things done.  I am just on edge and my time with God has come to a halt in the last week or so.  We just had a spankfest at our house and yes the boys were disobedient and needed the spanking but they didn't need it from their angry mother.  I had to go back and ask both of them to forgive me for spanking them in anger.  So please just pray that God would shower His grace and mercy on me this month and that I would daily make the harder choices for me.  

It's Here

So we are semi moving at the end of this week.  We have decided that our family does not do well in between.  It is just not how I am wired and we have the option to head on to Kennedy and get this next year and half moving.  So our plan is to head out this weekend.  We will be staying with my parents for a few weeks while we knock out the house work and then we will come back and move our stuff.  Yesterday and today I have been really sad and cried alot.  I just read a quote on a friends Facebook page that has been a breath of fresh air for my heavy heart today:

"Wherever you are be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God." - Jim Elliott

I strongly believe this to be the will of God for our family.  It is the very best but it makes me very sad.  I just didn't expect it and wasn't prepared for it and I just thought we were done.  As I read this quote I decided that I have to make a decision.  So I decided to be all there and to enjoy it.  

My prayer is that I will delight greatly in the boys that God has given me - all 3 of them.  They are wild at heart and this new home will be an amazing playground with a different adventure around every corner. I want to be all there with them and experience there adventure with them rather than sitting on the sidelines sulking because I would rather be somewhere else.  This weekend we were there and Jake and Brady spent 2 ENTIRE days outside.  They were completely filthy but loving life at the end of the day.  My heart is so sad as I walk away from some long needed friendships that are really taking shape as of late.  I fear that God is not good enough to me to preserve them until I return or replace them with equal ones if these do not continue.  I stink at keeping in touch - singleminded!!!!  So I ask that if and when you think of me over the next few months that you would pray that I would choose every day to enjoy what I believe to be God's will for my life.  I want to fight for contentment and find it in my Father and not my circumstances.

Happy Anniversary to US!!!!

Today, John and I are celebrating 8 years of marriage and 14 years of life together.  The events of our life for most of the last 8 years have be quite challenging quite often but our marriage has been rock solid thanks to the Lord's faithfulness.  I love this man with all my heart.  We fuss and fight but we are so in love with each other.  There is NO ONE else I could ever imagine sharing my life with - even if it often means chasing wild hairs with him!!!!  I could not imagine a better father for my children. I am so thankful that the Lord redeemed our relationship and that he chose to not only let it survive but He made it THRIVE!!!!  I will completely give God all the glory for our relationship.  It is He who has put people in our lives that taught us how to be a couple - to fight fair, to talk openly, to play and have fun.  It is He that continues to show us our sin and to walk us through the same struggles sometimes 50 times before we see progress.  It is He who we delight in and desire to live out our days as husband and wife glorifying.  Thank you God that your plan for me was John and that you gave me my best!!!!!  

I have written our sweet story of God's redemption in several post below for those of you who care to read it!!!!!  I LOVE OUR STORY!!! It is a perfect picture of how GOD MAKES ALL THINGS NEW!!!!!

Our Story - Part 3

(if you want to read the rest start at part 1)

The night that we became Christians, Jk, left the house and did not say one word to us about our living situation.  He began meeting weekly with John and teaching him how to study the Bible.  I got hooked up in a Bible study as well.  It was a little over a month later that John and I really became convicted about our living situation.  So I found a roommate for the spring semester (quarters then) and John lived on JK's couch for about a month until he could move into the dorms.  (we later ask JK and Tammy why they never challenged us to move out and they said they knew the Holy Spirit would do it in time and that He would be a true conviction) That summer, John went to SBP and I stayed behind for OT school and meet one dear friend that taught me all I know about marriage and parenting - Emily Teague.  I wouldn't have traded that summer for a 1000's SBP's.  Late fall of 1998, John and I decided it was time to break off our engagement.  It wasn't an issue of our feelings for each other quite as much as it was about knowing if this was God's will or ours for us to be married.  It was hard because our lives were completely interconnected.  We still spent time together and kinda acted like we were together until the first week of SBP 1999.  This was the week that John decided that it was time for us to not spend any time together.  We had to really sort this out and it was so hard.  So the summer was spent completely apart doing our own thing.  I stayed after SBP to babysit and John left and spent a week at my parents river house alone.  He said he really needed to be with the Lord and decided if God's will was for us to be together or if it was just what we had known for so long.

Often when I share this story I tell people that I felt like Abraham walking up the mountain to slay Issac.  God had told me to lay this relationship on the alter.  For me it was not a question of my feeling for John - I loved him and had always loved him even in those silly teen years it was real.  So I chose to obey God because I believed His word to be true.  Jer. 29:11 became my sustenance during this time - it kept me going.  I could not see that John was not the best for me but God gave me the faith to believe that He had my very best in store and that He would give it to me if I chose to trust Him and surrender my wants and desires.  This was probably one of the hardest 3 months of my life. (Jill do you remember :))  

About a month after school started, John ask me to go to lunch with him on a Wednesday.  I had a terrible sinus infection but I was not about to pass up time with him.  (I had told the Lord that I wanted to marry John and that I would trust him to show John otherwise and close the door if it were not the best.  I knew I couldn't trust my emotions so I ask the Lord to slam it shut if it needed to be.)  So we went to lunch and talked about our summers.  After lunch we went to the park near South and sat by the lake and we continued talking about our summers for 2 hours.  It was great because, he was my best friend and I hadn't talked to him all summer.  After that talk, he told me that he felt like God had given him a solid answer about our future and he pulled out my ring and ask me to marry him again.  I was completely shocked - we had been sitting there for 2 hours!!!!  Of course I said yes and bust into tears.  God gave him back to me and I feel completely blessed!!!