Sunday, April 20, 2008

If you can't do anything else - do this!!!

Well on Thursday night I hit bottom. I laid in our bed and sobbed to John about how I was completely exhauseted to the point that I didn't know what to do. Most of you know from some previous post that I have been sick but what you don't know was that it was almost 9 consecutive weeks of sickness. I think the lack of sleep just kept my immune system down so I kept getting stuff. Anyway, I have been well for the most part for 2 weeks now which is great. I started trying to rev up life again and realized that I just couldn't do it and the harder I tried the more tired I got. As John and I talked, I knew that I needed a break from being a mom and housekeeper for a few days. John has been working really long days and he is exhausted to so we decided to head to the beach - his mom's house. I could get away from the kids and he could rest some and spend some fun time with the boys. This is not what we REALLY need but it is the next best thing to time compeletly away from the kids.
Friday before we left I met with a friend who is a little farther along in her mothering journey. I told her what was going on and just how I didn't even want to be around my kids. All I seem to be doing was putting them in front of the TV to keep from engaging with them because I had nothing to give. Then of course comes the awful guilt that you are failing your childing ..yata yata yata. She of course affirmed me that all moms go through this, it is very normal at this stage of my life to feel like this for a season which is very encouraging to know you are not the only one. Then she gave me the biggest AHH ever!! She said Amy the most important job you have regarding your children is to shepard their hearts. If you can't do ANYTHING else DO THIS. They will recover from extra time in front of the tv or extra room time, etc. Just take time to shepard their hearts. For me this takes the pressure off of all the other things that I want to do as a parent and most of the time love doing. It gives me one thing to focus on with my children for this season of recovery in my life. Please pray for me that God will renew me physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.



4 comments:

Jessie said...

Hope you have a great trip and are refreshed in both body and spirit!

Matt, Carrie and Lucy Allen said...

thanks for the sewing compliment! I am learning!! hope your are getting some needed rest...I know how you feel and we only have 1 kid! We should try to get together some time...I'm sure the kids would love playing...and I think we have a good bit in common-I didn't comment on your other post about staying at home-although I do work pt, I have felt the Lord telling me not now (I have a teaching degree and have never taught, but have had numerous interviews and opportunities in the past)and letting that go has been big for me....so I can relate with that as well!
Carrie

Hope said...

Oh, Amy, thanks for being real!! Hey, I tell myself all the time "the tv is not my enemy, it's my friend!!" I'm not saying I let the kids sit in front of it all day but I also don't think it (the tv) is the devil :)

We all need time to get away and be restored....enjoy!!

Kristin said...

Yes, go get refreshed!

Thanks for sharing such honest thoughts! I'm with Carrie and Hope... we've all been there, and the TV does become a babysitter from time to time. Hope made me laugh with the "not the devil" comment. Aaghh! I wish we could all get together!