Sunday, October 24, 2010

Putting it to Rest

I am putting my blog to rest.  I hope to revive it again someday because writing is good for me.  But the truth is my capacity is limited right now and there are actually real live people in my life.  We are actually beginning to taste the fruits of community both with our faith family and with our neighbors who we hope to one day join us in our faith family.  I am not sure John and I have been here since we left staff almost 8 years ago.  We have had relationships sprinkled throughout but not community. 
I am really focusing on some healing in my life - physically, emotionally and spiritually that is requiring a lot of my time during my days.  I have 2 hearts at home that need mama to shepard them and love them with my time.  I have an amazing husband who is absent alot in this season which leaves me to go it alone.  I have for the first time in many years a desire to put forth effort to put down roots.  We believe we are here and we NEED to be here.  So here we are and I need and want to learn how to live my life not in survival mode.  This blog steals my thoughts more than it should so for now I am trading it in for the real live people in my space.  Thanks to those of you who have encouraged me through these last few years of struggle and learning. 

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Roll Tide

Alabama Homecoming has become a Cook Family Tradition.  I use to dread it because you have to get up sooo early and drag little ones along that don't really appreciate it.  But this year the kids had a blast.  I admit I still dreaded it because I am a homebody these days.  But once we got there it was really fun.  Our neighbors joined us this year and made it even more fun. 

This is how all three of the boys looked at the end of the day.  It took 4 washcloths to get JUST brady clean.  They had a blast and it was sooo worth the clean up. 

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

An Ideal Day

As I begin to make stride in re-engaging my life after my depression I am constantly finding myself on my face.  I don't mind it too much because one of the many things I have learned this year with strong conviction is that when I am weak my God is strong.  I am different in many ways.  But yet I find myself still battling that same dreadful old self - hence the falling on my face.

Yesterday, I had one of those moments on my face asking God to order my days.  I wanted ideal days - I know you know what I mean - those days that everything goes as planned.  The days that you check things off your to do list but you also love your kids really well.  Those days that it comes easy to not have to chose people over task but that they somehow get done in unison.  

And then this idea came to my mind:

"Most of us find it very difficult to want “Heaven” at all – except in so far as “Heaven” means meeting again our friends who have died. One reason for this difficulty is that we have not been trained: our whole education tends to fix our minds on this world. Another reason is that when the real want for Heaven is present in us, we do not recognize it. Most people, if they had really learned to look into their own hearts, would know that they do want, and want acutely, something that cannot be had in this world. There are all sorts of things in this world that offer to give it to you, but they never quite keep their promise.” ~ C.S. Lewis

My perfect IDEAL day are precious gems from God.  But yesterday God helped me to recognize that they are glimpses of Heaven and can't be so every day in this fallen world no matter how many success strategies, effective planning and implementing of systems I use. 
So I guess now the prayer is "Lord teach this fallen daughter to live well in this fallen world."

Monday, October 4, 2010