Tuesday, October 12, 2010

An Ideal Day

As I begin to make stride in re-engaging my life after my depression I am constantly finding myself on my face.  I don't mind it too much because one of the many things I have learned this year with strong conviction is that when I am weak my God is strong.  I am different in many ways.  But yet I find myself still battling that same dreadful old self - hence the falling on my face.

Yesterday, I had one of those moments on my face asking God to order my days.  I wanted ideal days - I know you know what I mean - those days that everything goes as planned.  The days that you check things off your to do list but you also love your kids really well.  Those days that it comes easy to not have to chose people over task but that they somehow get done in unison.  

And then this idea came to my mind:

"Most of us find it very difficult to want “Heaven” at all – except in so far as “Heaven” means meeting again our friends who have died. One reason for this difficulty is that we have not been trained: our whole education tends to fix our minds on this world. Another reason is that when the real want for Heaven is present in us, we do not recognize it. Most people, if they had really learned to look into their own hearts, would know that they do want, and want acutely, something that cannot be had in this world. There are all sorts of things in this world that offer to give it to you, but they never quite keep their promise.” ~ C.S. Lewis

My perfect IDEAL day are precious gems from God.  But yesterday God helped me to recognize that they are glimpses of Heaven and can't be so every day in this fallen world no matter how many success strategies, effective planning and implementing of systems I use. 
So I guess now the prayer is "Lord teach this fallen daughter to live well in this fallen world."


Melissa said...

Love the CS Lewis quote and the direction of your closing thought/prayer... :o)

Donna said...

Great post- so true- we only see through a mirror dimly...we all just do the best we can!