Monday, September 1, 2008

God's Hand in Our Move

So for those of you who have spent any time with us you know that we are burdened with a lot of debt.  Most of it was from John going back to school and us not having an income that year.  We don't regret that decision at all.  Some of our debt is a result of bad decisions that we have made along the way.  But regardless of why we have it we do and it is tying our hands in so many ways.  John and I desire greatly to be laborers for God's kingdom.  We want to (and do now) spend our time and energy investing in lives of people.  Are job is not full time ministry but we see our life as full time ministry.  Over the past few months (since John is now working from home and flexible) we have spent lots of time and  conversations discussing where we really want to invest our time.  Through these conversations, John has really felt the burden of our debt and how it limits us right now.  So while John has been thinking and praying about this decision, God has done 2 great things in my heart preparing me for what was to come.  Here is what he has been doing:

1. In early June, we were traveling back from the beach and the following dialogue began a several hour long conversation:
A- I know what I am about to tell you is going to shock you but I need you to hear me out...I feel like God has been prodding my heart to consider homeschooling the boys.


now for all you homeschooling moms - we have nothing against homeschooling I have just always said that I didn't see me doing it because of my personality.  So for me to say this was HUGE.  My sis in law agreed when I told her today.

2. I have had somewhat of a strained relationship with my mom - whom we will be living right beside.  Over the summer, with the help of a godly mentor in my life, God has really began to do a huge heart change in me regarding our relationship.  Not much has changed in how we relate but tons has changed in how I view our relationship.  Had these changes not happened this could not even be an option.

So when John came to me a few weeks ago and told me what was on his heart I told him absolutely not.  I even, in my sinfulness, told him that he needed to tell me now if this was going to be an issue that I would have to just submit to him about because he would not convince me that this is best. ( r u laughing?)  So he, in his calmness that never ceases, said to me "Will you just pray about it a few days and then we will talk?" I begrudgingly said yes and almost immediately God began to show me - remind me- of what has happened in my heart this summer.  It was if he said - this is why my timing is perfect.  For me, Jake's school and my relationship with my mom would have been hands down 2 of the 3 biggest barriers for me making this decision.  So God in his faithfulness softened my heart to the idea so much so that I could at least begin to discuss it with John.  As he talked and we looked at the numbers, we saw that in 12-14 months we could have all of our debt but one small school loan (3% interest rate) paid off.  That in and of itself makes me say ahhhh.  So we prayed and talked and I felt God really give me a peace about the decision.  
I will admit that sometimes I have to fight with Satan over keeping this peace.  So I beg you to pray for me as we move into this phase of our life.  The sacrifices are so worth the payoff for us for the long haul of our life.
The third barrier for me was walking away from my dear friends here.  John and I have just begin to feel like we have come out of a dry spell in our life regarding fellowship and now it seems that we are walking back into one. This by far makes me the saddest.  But, the couple friends I have told so far about this decision have been supportive and even committed to me and maintaining our friendship during our time away.  Thank you so much - you know who you are!!!
So here is the beginning of the next chapter in the cook's tour of the states :) More to come later.


Matt, Carrie and Lucy Allen said...

how far away are you moving?! i know sometimes it is hard to make these kinds of decisions, but it sounds like it will be the best for ya'll for now...even if it is hard, it will pay off. i kinda know how you feel with all the moving around we've done.(and dumb decisions we've made) keep trusting in Him...which i have no doubt that you will! wish you could come monday too...and yes, i will be hanging my painting in our newly painted room-or the living room, can't decide yet!

Kristin said...

I have to say my jaw is hanging... I had no idea! I will be praying for you, and I commit to stay in touch, too. I am very sad, but I know the Lord must be directing this decision. I just love you...

Bragans said...

My heart is sad that you guys are moving, but encouraged by the decision you guys make for your family. I am grateful for your friendship and realness. We will continue to pray for you guys!



Jena said...

I have tears trickling down my cheek. How far is your moms house? When will this take place? I am so sad!!!