Saturday, October 4, 2008

Renevating House and Heart

Today has been a hard day for me filled with many tears. Any of you know that sometimes loving your family is the hardest thing you can do. Today has been one of those days. My extended family has had much drama today. Some of it has made my heart hurt terribly. At one point today I had to just sit down and cry and my daddy came to check on me. He reminded me in the best way he knows how all people are different and that in order to live here I have to remember that and to thicken my skin. He was trying to comfort me (surprisingly) but it really made me sadder because sin is so harsh and a thick skin will not make it go away. Later during the day I was taking a break from working on the house and I begin weeping as I was reminded of a recent email from a friend of mine.
In her email she told me to see this experience as one of worship and that as I work diligently on renovating this house to see that this is what my Father is doing in my heart and life. He is about renovating my heart, making all things new. And as I thought about the fact that the more we do on this house the more there is to do, I realized that this is true of my life and my heart. And what made me weep was that I realized that this time here is going to be about God doing some serious renovations in my heart. He is peeling back another layer of the onion that is my life. My heart has hurt so much this afternoon as I have thought about this and all my sin that I see right now.
I so desire for God to make me more like His son but sometimes I just long to be in heaven and knowing that He has finished the work he began in me.

1 comment:

Kristin said...

Praying for you, Amy. I'm so sorry you've had such a hard day.