The Little and Big

I don't want to forget.  I want this depression to be lifted but I don't want to forget all that God is doing in my heart as a result of this time.  Along this journey I have ask God to give me  stones of Remembrance so that I don't forget.  And I am asking God to put these stones in my path often.  The Israelites set up stones of remembrance but then they journeyed on their way and left the stones behind and they forgot.  So my prayer is God give me stones and make them show up.  Today, while waiting in carpool I listened to this song and as I thought about it God carried me farther along in this journey we are own and it became a stone for me.  Read they lyrics and then I will tell you why:

Pencil marks on a wall, I wasn't always this tall
You scattered some monsters from beneath my bed
You watched my team win
You watched my team lose
Watched when my bicycle went down again
And when I was weak, unable to speak
Still I could call You by name
And I said, Elbow Healer, Superhero
Come if You can
You said, I Am


Only sixteen, life is so mean
What kind of curfew is at 10pm?
You saw my mistakes
And watched my heart break
Heard when I swore I'd never love again
And when I was weak, unable to speak
Still I could call You by name
And I said Heartache Healer, Secret Keeper
Be my best friend
And you said, I Am


You saw me wear white by pale candlelight
I said forever to what lies ahead
Two kids and a dream, with kids that can scream
Too much it might seem when it is 2am
And when I am weak, unable to speak
Still I will call You by name
Shepherd, Savior, Pasture Maker
Hold onto my hand
You say, I Am


The winds of change and circumstance blow in and all around us
So we find a foothold that's familiar
And bless the moments that we feel You nearer


When life had begun, I was woven and spun
You let the angels dance around the throne
And who can say when, but they'll dance again
When I am free and finally headed

I will be weak, unable to speak
Still I will call You by name
Creator, Maker, Life Sustainer
Comforter, Healer, my Redeemer
Lord and King, Beginning and the End


I Am
Yes, I Am

When I first heard this song I thought it was talking about a parent.  And then as I listened I realized she was talking to God.  But all the things she writes about are things that parents are or should be a part of - protecting us from monsters, kissing boo - boos, walking through our first heartbreak, our wedding day, becoming a new parent and sadly some even the death of a child.  I have always been taught that as parents we have an opportunity to be a model to our children of God as a parent.  Yes, it is tainted but even in kissing little boo-boo's and wiping the tears of a first heart break - these are pictures of God loving us in the simple things. 

But she is singing to her heavenly Father.  She knows that he was there to scare away the monsters and kiss boo-boos and all the other things.  And I begin to think - how often do I let my children stop at me?  Am I planting seeds of understanding in them that their heavenly Father is here in the little things or do I just let it stop with me.  As parents we want to be needed by our children and I don't really think that is sinful.  But what an opportunity to let my children know that God is there in the little and the big now while there little and bigs aren't SO little and big.  Then as adults they know - really know that He is the I AM. 

More and more God is lifting this unnecessary burden from my heart.  The burden that I have thought I had to make my children holy, that I have to do it all right for them to love Jesus.  And He is doing it in such sweet ways.  I am learning this about myself as well.  He is committed to making me Holy and He loves me - really loves me.  I want my kids to know this is true for them to and as I learn to live out this truth in my own life I trust that God will help it to spill over in theirs.