Lessons I am learning

There is so much that I want to write about these days. God is teaching me some very hard and amazing lessons that soon I want to share but for now I will continue to ponder them in my heart. One of the overarching themes that I will share with you is the overwhelming freedom I am finding in being completely real and bare before people. For me it is part of coming to a place in life where I truly live my life for an audience of one. My heart longs to really know Jesus and almost everytime I come to Him crying this He patiently and gently reminds me that I truly have NOTHING to bring to Him. My gifts and abilities were not given to me to make me more loved by my Father so why do I often try to hide behind them in order to feel more loved by people. What I really want to offer people is Jesus. Nothing else but Jesus. This is tough. Because it is a process of dying to me and as my sweet friend reminded me yesterday that in order for this to be true I must DAILY pick up my cross and follow him. Only when I am close to Him in constant communion do I feel the freedom to be bare before men and to take zero claim for what I am good at and to readily admit my weaknesses and seek help. Only when I am close to Him in constant communion does life stay in proper perspective and make even a little bit of sense. Only when I am close to Him in constant communion can I truly be the vessel that carries truth and light and love into the lives of those I love so dear. Because when I am not in constant communion with Him I am sucking dry all those around me for truth and light and love because I have none of my own. And God has promised me that His mercies are new every morning and that just like the manna I can only get my supply for today - TODAY.