Faith

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Heb 11:1

I want a faith that can move mountains. Often I struggle with this concept. Usually when this struggle happens it is because I have misplaced my faith and put it in an object rather than God. The more I parent the more I feel like I understand faith. What I mean is that I know my children hope for certain things. They hope to get to stay up late, they hope to get to have ice cream for dinner. But most days this does not happen. But I also know that despite momentary disappointment their faith in me as their caretaker does not waiver. They do not see me giving in to their whims - even the ones they hope for. It is because their faith is in me and not in what they want. I hope this makes sense. So as I put the boys down for a nap today, I lay in the bed with Brady for about 15 minutes as he genuinely sobbed because he was sad John had to go back to work. (John is working about 14-15 hours a day right now and they see him about 1 hour total a day - if that). So I took that opportunity to try as best as I could to explain to my 3 year old that God will never leave him and He will always be there to love him and take care of him - even when mommy and daddy can't. I said "daddy can not work from home like he use to right now but we can pray and ask God to give daddy a job that will allow him to work from home again." As soon as I said it I cringed inside. For that brief second I felt like i set my kids up for disappointment because it doesn't look like that will happen soon. But then God reminded me of this verse. The object of my faith is not the expectation of getting what I want. The object of my faith is a God who loves me and my boys more than John ever could. He is a God that wants us to learn to love and depend on Him more than we do John. And He is a God who has the VERY BEST plan for our lives. So I can come before my God, with my children, and ask in faith the equivalent question that I hear from my boys - can i stay up late?. I can ask my Father if He will give daddy a job that lets Him stay at home with us again. And God may say no and we may experience momentary disappointment but we learn to trust deeper in our God and His goodness. So we prayed and we ask and we will see what God does. It has been huge for me because I think in my faithless heart that disappointment may be lurking. But the big picture is I know God loves us and wants the very best for us and even though my heart might be sad - second best is not what I want - for me or them!!!! We shall see.