Say a Prayer for Me

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear. ~Ambrose Redmoon

I have fears about moving to Reform. And on days like today when I am tired and weary those fears sometimes becoming consuming - as they are today. I heard this quote on a movie this summer and it continues to run throughout my head. My specific fears don't matter that much. But they are real and they concern me but in this time I am choosing to do 2 things:
1. Claim Ps 16:11 and trust that His path is were joy and pleasure and contentment are found - not in a location of my choice.
You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

2. Standing on the judgement that there is something else more important than my fears. PEOPLE - we want to see God's hand moving in this small town. We long for God to renew a love for Him in His children that are there and start a spark in the hearts of others and release this town from the bondage of rampant drug addiction and Pharisaical thinking. My home will never be on this earth and as hard as it is sometimes to live like that on a daily basis - I want to live like that on a daily basis.

Right now I feel tired and weary and misplaced and lonely. Please pray for me during this time.
Thanks friends

Summer In the City - What I learned

This summer had lots of challenges but it was well worth them all - most days:). There are a few things that I either learned this summer or deepened my conviction about through the summer.
1. Children don't need tons of toys - in fact they do better without the distraction of tons of toys. I have seen this even in the 1.5 days we have been at Nana's house. Because our apt was so small the kids only had a few choices and they would play with them for hours and they got really creative with the things. Tinker toys became rockets and boats and monster trucks and carnival rides for the stuffed animals. Brady's blanket and two chairs became a volleyball net and a balloon became the volleyball. A sheet became a swimming pool for the animals. Trains went on all kinds of adventures through the apt. I saw their imagination flourish tremendously because it had to. Here, the boys drag out all the toys and then are overwhelmed and get bored. The absence of toys created a necessity - get creative. So I think that when we unpack lots of the toys will go away to someone who needs them or up in boxes to be brought out literally a few at a time.
2. I can do this. I am blessed with an amazing husband and father. Even before he worked from home and had to go to work he always came home and became part of the family - played with the boys, helped with dinner and did bedtime by himself for the most part. That has always been his special time with the boys and he loves it. I know this is a blessing that many wives/moms don't have but God has blessed me with one amazing guy. When he started working from home he worked a full day but he was there and we loved it. So this summer has been QUITE a transition for us. In the past there have been seasons of his work that he was super busy and this summer has by far been the worse. So we went from having him home all day to not seeing him at all some days. I was worried because I do depend on him. He is a vital role in our day to day life. The kids expect daddy to put them to bed, tell them a story, sing and scratch their back, pray with them and lay down with them. I expect that after they go to bed, we get couple time. These have been priorities for us our whole marriage with kids. That didn't happen lots this summer. But we managed way better than I expected. It doesn't mean that we don't miss him. We do terribly. But for this season in our life he will be away alot working. After this summer, I feel confident that I can do this - he will work away 4-5 days a week and be home 2-3. This won't be constant because sometimes he will get to work from home. But before I was nervous and really didn't think I could do it. Now I know. We don't like it and can't wait for this season to pass but we are so thankful for God's provision and will learn to be content in this circumstance. This knowledge for me is a HUGE step in my road to contentment. I can do all things through Christ.
3. I like life at a slower pace. I really enjoy being at home. I am not much for going somewhere every day. The boys thrive when we stay home and in routine and I do as well. This summer I felt the need to go and do. I have noticed this about myself in other big cities we have lived in. There are so many options and i feel like I need to expose the kids and provide them opportunities. The truth is I don't. Their time will come for that. John and I enjoy just being. So living in a small town removes the possibilities of all the options which I really like and look forward to again. We will expose our kids to things and culture but we are ok with just being at home together. The kids love it to. There are lots of times that we are out somewhere that they just ask to go home and play. I have kinda known this about myself but I guess this summer I decided to be ok with it.

Summer In the City - Things to Do

If you have smaller children spend your days in Central Park. It rained alot this summer so we really stayed in more than we had planned and when it wasn't raining we wanted to be outside playing and not in a museum or such. There are a few things that we wanted to do but didn't get to it.
1. Children's Art Musem - this mostly has art done by children around the world. We will visit this next time we are there while John is working.
2. Muesum of Natural History - planned on doing this the last weekend but decided the kids were not behaving well enough for a trip to a museum. Maybe next time.
3. We really enjoyed just walking around the city.

So again - we don't do touristy and maybe when the kids are older and can appreciate the things more we will do more stuff but Central Park was lots and lots of fun for us this summer.

Summer In the City - The Food

John and I are not touristy people. We don't feel the need to see all the sights and try all the food places. There are probably several more we would have tried if we didn't have Thing 1 and Thing 2 traveling with us. But we do have a few must try when in New York City, and a few if you are looking for something go here.
1. Serendipity 3 - this place was our last meal there and it was WONDERFUL. It is such a fun place to go. The food is great but the desserts are literally the best I have EVER had. Must try their trademark (literally it is trademarked) frozen hot chocolate. And while we were there the couple next to us got engaged. It was really sweet. He had a special menu printed and one of the items on the menu was the proposal. So when she opened her menu he pointed and said - I think you should try this. When she looked down to read it he got down on one knee and opened the ring box. It was really sweet. Great place.
2. Gray's Papaya - skip the street cart hot dog and go for the gold. These things are really great.
3. Magnolia Bakery - All good - everything we tried was amazing. Right down the street from Rockefeller Plaza so we got the cupcakes and hung out in the Plaza - wonderful.

We also recommend
1. Murphy's Pub on 2nd Ave. This is a true Irish pub. The fish and chips are great but the atmosphere is really fun and the owner is a hoot. He came and chatted with us for a while. It was fun conversing with an Irishman - fun for all involved (he loved our southern accent).
2. Cafe Espresso - this place was right around the corner and we never went to the Restaurant but we had it delivered a lot. Great Italian.

So these are our picks for the summer. Well worth the visit if you are ever there.

R&R at Nana's

We made it to the beach today. We were up and at it at 3am to make a 6 am flight. We actually got in a traffic jam in Holland Tunnel on the way to the airport at 4:30 this morning. Ridiculous that there are enough people on the road that time of morning - leaving the city for that matter - to have a traffic jam. But we had a really easy flight. So I took a nap when the boys did except I sleep for 5 hours - WONDERFUL!!! I didn't want to get up - I really think I could have slept until in the morning. So I want to post about our summer in the next few days but for now I am just gonna rest!!! Have a good week.

Faith

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Heb 11:1

I want a faith that can move mountains. Often I struggle with this concept. Usually when this struggle happens it is because I have misplaced my faith and put it in an object rather than God. The more I parent the more I feel like I understand faith. What I mean is that I know my children hope for certain things. They hope to get to stay up late, they hope to get to have ice cream for dinner. But most days this does not happen. But I also know that despite momentary disappointment their faith in me as their caretaker does not waiver. They do not see me giving in to their whims - even the ones they hope for. It is because their faith is in me and not in what they want. I hope this makes sense. So as I put the boys down for a nap today, I lay in the bed with Brady for about 15 minutes as he genuinely sobbed because he was sad John had to go back to work. (John is working about 14-15 hours a day right now and they see him about 1 hour total a day - if that). So I took that opportunity to try as best as I could to explain to my 3 year old that God will never leave him and He will always be there to love him and take care of him - even when mommy and daddy can't. I said "daddy can not work from home like he use to right now but we can pray and ask God to give daddy a job that will allow him to work from home again." As soon as I said it I cringed inside. For that brief second I felt like i set my kids up for disappointment because it doesn't look like that will happen soon. But then God reminded me of this verse. The object of my faith is not the expectation of getting what I want. The object of my faith is a God who loves me and my boys more than John ever could. He is a God that wants us to learn to love and depend on Him more than we do John. And He is a God who has the VERY BEST plan for our lives. So I can come before my God, with my children, and ask in faith the equivalent question that I hear from my boys - can i stay up late?. I can ask my Father if He will give daddy a job that lets Him stay at home with us again. And God may say no and we may experience momentary disappointment but we learn to trust deeper in our God and His goodness. So we prayed and we ask and we will see what God does. It has been huge for me because I think in my faithless heart that disappointment may be lurking. But the big picture is I know God loves us and wants the very best for us and even though my heart might be sad - second best is not what I want - for me or them!!!! We shall see.