The Truth

There is so much I want to say. I think most of you knew there was more to this move than John's job. It is true. This is the best decision for his job - to be in a bigger city and close to an airport. But the main reason we are moving back to Bham is me. When we first made the decision I was so afraid of saying something that might hurt the people in Reform. But since we made this decision I have received nothing but love and understanding from them even though they have no idea why. I love those people - our family. But for this time in our life I need to be in a place that fosters healing in my life. I have some very dear heart friends in Birmingham and older women who have invested their lives in me in the past that can help me walk through this very hard time in my life.

This summer the walls came crashing down in my life. The accumulation of the last 6 years of moves and starting over, along with other things, caught up with me in so many ways. Spiritually, emotionally and even physically I feel like I fell apart. God has brought me to a place of brokenness that I have never experienced before. I feel like the last 5 weeks since returning from NY (without John) that God has graciously wrapped a rope around me holding me together. Many times it begins to unwind and the floodgates of emotions take over (if you know me you know I not super emotional). But ever so gently He has pulled me back in - not by any act of mine. I am not sure what God has in store for me in the coming months but this week I met with a dear sweet friend who spoke such truth into my life that I actually begin to believe it. She told me that she believes in the physical representation of the spiritual things that God does in our lives. God used NY to literally bring me to the end of my rope in so so many ways but this move represents all things new. A new start, a new me - "if any one is in Christ he is a new creation, the old has gone and the new has come." Sometimes, most times, it takes God years and years - a lifetime - to remove that old and sometimes it is simple and other times it is drastic. For me this is a drastic removal of the old in my life. This "pruning" is very painful but it makes me know that my Daddy loves me and He desires nothing to rival Him for my affection.

Like I said earlier, there is much I want to say but for now this is enough. It is not hard for me to be an open book - I always have been. But for now please just pray for healing in my life. Pray that quickly I feel "settled" in Bham. John and I both are very weary and though we can't say we will never move again we do feel like we will be here for a while. I must confess that this is just as hard for me to believe as it is for some of you. But we have arrived - we are done. Our "adventurous spirit" has been quenched. So life begins outside of survival mode. Please pray that I learn how to live outside of survival mode soon.
Those of you that have called or sent emails - thank you so much. I think as mom's we so struggle asking people for help. But I know that God intends for us as believers to be His hands and feet not only to the lost but to our brothers and sisters. I need my friends right now more than ever - people who love me and people who can love my children when I don't seem to be doing such a good job at that these days.
I believe God allowed events to happen in my life that brought me to this place of brokenness and I believe that He will see me through this - I believe this because His word says so
Psalm 66:10-12
¹⁰ For you, O God, tested us;
you refined us like silver.
¹¹ You brought us into prison
and laid burdens on our backs.
¹² You let men ride over our heads;
we went through fire and water,
but you brought us to a place of abundance.

Ezekiel 34:26
I will send down showers in season; there will be showers of blessing.

Enough for now....

Change of Plans

Well I have been MIA from this blog lately. Probably won't be back much for another few weeks. But I did want to let you know that we have had a change of plans. After about a week of prayer and discussions we have decided that we are not moving to Reform right now. There are many reasons for this decision - one of them being John's job. We think we need to be in a bigger city in which John has easier access to jobs. We have decided to move back to Birmingham. John really wants to stay in the south and we don't want to start over anywhere. We love our friends in Birmingham and our church. It will be an easy transition for us which is great for me and the boys since John will be gone 4-5 days a week.
I wish I had the energy to elaborate more on this decision but I don't. Like I said in my last post I am tired and weary and ready to get settled. So please pray for this transition to be smooth and easy and quick. John is flying into bham on Friday and I will be driving up to meet him. We will look for houses on Sat. Please pray we find one. More soon....

Say a Prayer for Me

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear. ~Ambrose Redmoon

I have fears about moving to Reform. And on days like today when I am tired and weary those fears sometimes becoming consuming - as they are today. I heard this quote on a movie this summer and it continues to run throughout my head. My specific fears don't matter that much. But they are real and they concern me but in this time I am choosing to do 2 things:
1. Claim Ps 16:11 and trust that His path is were joy and pleasure and contentment are found - not in a location of my choice.
You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

2. Standing on the judgement that there is something else more important than my fears. PEOPLE - we want to see God's hand moving in this small town. We long for God to renew a love for Him in His children that are there and start a spark in the hearts of others and release this town from the bondage of rampant drug addiction and Pharisaical thinking. My home will never be on this earth and as hard as it is sometimes to live like that on a daily basis - I want to live like that on a daily basis.

Right now I feel tired and weary and misplaced and lonely. Please pray for me during this time.
Thanks friends

Summer In the City - What I learned

This summer had lots of challenges but it was well worth them all - most days:). There are a few things that I either learned this summer or deepened my conviction about through the summer.
1. Children don't need tons of toys - in fact they do better without the distraction of tons of toys. I have seen this even in the 1.5 days we have been at Nana's house. Because our apt was so small the kids only had a few choices and they would play with them for hours and they got really creative with the things. Tinker toys became rockets and boats and monster trucks and carnival rides for the stuffed animals. Brady's blanket and two chairs became a volleyball net and a balloon became the volleyball. A sheet became a swimming pool for the animals. Trains went on all kinds of adventures through the apt. I saw their imagination flourish tremendously because it had to. Here, the boys drag out all the toys and then are overwhelmed and get bored. The absence of toys created a necessity - get creative. So I think that when we unpack lots of the toys will go away to someone who needs them or up in boxes to be brought out literally a few at a time.
2. I can do this. I am blessed with an amazing husband and father. Even before he worked from home and had to go to work he always came home and became part of the family - played with the boys, helped with dinner and did bedtime by himself for the most part. That has always been his special time with the boys and he loves it. I know this is a blessing that many wives/moms don't have but God has blessed me with one amazing guy. When he started working from home he worked a full day but he was there and we loved it. So this summer has been QUITE a transition for us. In the past there have been seasons of his work that he was super busy and this summer has by far been the worse. So we went from having him home all day to not seeing him at all some days. I was worried because I do depend on him. He is a vital role in our day to day life. The kids expect daddy to put them to bed, tell them a story, sing and scratch their back, pray with them and lay down with them. I expect that after they go to bed, we get couple time. These have been priorities for us our whole marriage with kids. That didn't happen lots this summer. But we managed way better than I expected. It doesn't mean that we don't miss him. We do terribly. But for this season in our life he will be away alot working. After this summer, I feel confident that I can do this - he will work away 4-5 days a week and be home 2-3. This won't be constant because sometimes he will get to work from home. But before I was nervous and really didn't think I could do it. Now I know. We don't like it and can't wait for this season to pass but we are so thankful for God's provision and will learn to be content in this circumstance. This knowledge for me is a HUGE step in my road to contentment. I can do all things through Christ.
3. I like life at a slower pace. I really enjoy being at home. I am not much for going somewhere every day. The boys thrive when we stay home and in routine and I do as well. This summer I felt the need to go and do. I have noticed this about myself in other big cities we have lived in. There are so many options and i feel like I need to expose the kids and provide them opportunities. The truth is I don't. Their time will come for that. John and I enjoy just being. So living in a small town removes the possibilities of all the options which I really like and look forward to again. We will expose our kids to things and culture but we are ok with just being at home together. The kids love it to. There are lots of times that we are out somewhere that they just ask to go home and play. I have kinda known this about myself but I guess this summer I decided to be ok with it.

Summer In the City - Things to Do

If you have smaller children spend your days in Central Park. It rained alot this summer so we really stayed in more than we had planned and when it wasn't raining we wanted to be outside playing and not in a museum or such. There are a few things that we wanted to do but didn't get to it.
1. Children's Art Musem - this mostly has art done by children around the world. We will visit this next time we are there while John is working.
2. Muesum of Natural History - planned on doing this the last weekend but decided the kids were not behaving well enough for a trip to a museum. Maybe next time.
3. We really enjoyed just walking around the city.

So again - we don't do touristy and maybe when the kids are older and can appreciate the things more we will do more stuff but Central Park was lots and lots of fun for us this summer.

Summer In the City - The Food

John and I are not touristy people. We don't feel the need to see all the sights and try all the food places. There are probably several more we would have tried if we didn't have Thing 1 and Thing 2 traveling with us. But we do have a few must try when in New York City, and a few if you are looking for something go here.
1. Serendipity 3 - this place was our last meal there and it was WONDERFUL. It is such a fun place to go. The food is great but the desserts are literally the best I have EVER had. Must try their trademark (literally it is trademarked) frozen hot chocolate. And while we were there the couple next to us got engaged. It was really sweet. He had a special menu printed and one of the items on the menu was the proposal. So when she opened her menu he pointed and said - I think you should try this. When she looked down to read it he got down on one knee and opened the ring box. It was really sweet. Great place.
2. Gray's Papaya - skip the street cart hot dog and go for the gold. These things are really great.
3. Magnolia Bakery - All good - everything we tried was amazing. Right down the street from Rockefeller Plaza so we got the cupcakes and hung out in the Plaza - wonderful.

We also recommend
1. Murphy's Pub on 2nd Ave. This is a true Irish pub. The fish and chips are great but the atmosphere is really fun and the owner is a hoot. He came and chatted with us for a while. It was fun conversing with an Irishman - fun for all involved (he loved our southern accent).
2. Cafe Espresso - this place was right around the corner and we never went to the Restaurant but we had it delivered a lot. Great Italian.

So these are our picks for the summer. Well worth the visit if you are ever there.

R&R at Nana's

We made it to the beach today. We were up and at it at 3am to make a 6 am flight. We actually got in a traffic jam in Holland Tunnel on the way to the airport at 4:30 this morning. Ridiculous that there are enough people on the road that time of morning - leaving the city for that matter - to have a traffic jam. But we had a really easy flight. So I took a nap when the boys did except I sleep for 5 hours - WONDERFUL!!! I didn't want to get up - I really think I could have slept until in the morning. So I want to post about our summer in the next few days but for now I am just gonna rest!!! Have a good week.